Does the Mailing List Unsubscribe Function Work?

Background:

I've been on a list for a good four years, and almost every year someone decides that it's too much effort to read through the instructions provided to get themselves unsubscribed from the list.

I've heard nearly every rationalization, from: "It's too technical" to "I don't have the time" to "Not all of us are technologically capable" to "I HAVE ASKED SO MANY TIMES IT IS RIDICULOUS" to abject whining.

Naturally, most of the people who are on this list point and laugh at the people who make these statements, because in general, if you actually read through the directions on how to subscribe and unsubscribe to a mailing list, it's pretty straightforward.

If, on the other hand, you're used to the idea that people will do things for you if you bitch loudly enough, or you complain about spam in your inbox but never quite understand that spending time working with the email to filter messages out (seriously, people. Learn how to do this and you won't ever have an overflowing mailbox ever again)

What is this list, you ask? It's for an event in the desert, and it's an email list set up through the organization that lets people work Ice. It's also for an event that heavily, HEAVILY promotes Radical Self-Reliance.

And inevitably, someone screams, "I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING AND I STILL GET EMAIL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" (Oh, the irony.)

So I figured, hey, what the hell. I'll subscribe two email addresses to the list and see if I can unsubscribe by *gasp* FOLLOWING THE DIRECTIONS.

I mean, holy shit, that's just crazy talk....

....BUT IT JUST MIGHT WORK.

On to the Signup Process!

Let's See if It Works

Here we have the signup process. Pretty straightforward - you put your name in, enter a password, and then it gets sent on to the moderator of the list. (Who happens to be on the list, which is why most of the people who bitch about not being removed because they get tired of all that reading instructions just whine until they get taken off.) Hooray, I subscribed!

Uh-oh. Looks like they have to vet me to make sure I'm not some slacking jerkwad who sits around drinking beer all day with a megaphone in hand and bumming smokes off of people while heckling the people in line to dance like a bunch of monkeys*. Perhaps now's a good time to update my public profile to look respectable. Ish.

Hooray! They bought it! Even though I'll unsubscribe from the list in five minutes flat, I feel warm and accepted. Now, I'll just click that whole link right below "If you ever want to unsubscribe or change your options (eg, switch to or from digest mode, change your password, etc.), visit your subscription page at:). I even put a big red arrow pointing to it, so I'd remember where it is.

Wu-oh. I clicked the link. What are they...oh, good. It's just that OPTIONS page that was directly linked underneath the heading that says, "IF YOU EVER WANT TO UNSUBSCRIBE". It's possible to not read, I guess, but still. Reading comprehension, people! Live it! Learn it! Love it**!



Now that's all done, I've clicked the Unsubscribe button. OH NOES! Wait, I wanted to do that. Anyway, now there's an email chundering right down to my email inbox, apparently. I shall wait and look up pictures of silly cats on the Internet...oh wait, what? I got my email already? Dang.

There's my Mailing List Removal Confirmation Notice, right in my email inbox where they said it would be. I could reply to the message, or I could actually spend three calories and click that link again. Ah well, I need to slim down for the Obvious Man Olympics.

BOOM BABY! Unsubscribed. And a few emails sent to the list for the next twenty minutes don't show up in my inbox on this account. Confirmed, because they showed up in my original account, but not this test account!

....but what if I do it all over again, just to make sure? How about I click that link again?

Oh, apparently the list admin caught me before I could do too much damage to the list. Hrmph. Even though I managed to successfully unsubscribe myself using the instructions provided through the list, I still feel somewhat unloved. Sniff. Sniff.



Primary Conclusion:

It is possible to unsubscribe from the list following the instructions provided BY the list and the list administrators.



However, if your reading comprehension is that of a half-lobotomized chimpanzee*** with one eyeball, you may have problems following the unsubscribe process from the list. If you are the type of person who calls up the computer company to complain your PC isn't working, and haven't checked to make sure it's plugged in and powered up, you may have a problem unsubscribing from this kind of list.



Happily, though, if you're willing to spend the actual time and energy that you do bitching and moaning about removing yourself from this list actually going about looking for the way to remove yourself from the email list, then it's likely you'll succeed.



Secondary Conclusion:



I, and most of the other people on this list, are more than justified in making fun of people who, when confronted with more than a one-step "click it" process, are apparently incapable of paying attention to the details and have to ricochet around like a pinball in a flubberized Midway machine before someone takes pity on them and kindly, quietly, saves them from their technological incompetence.



Verdict:



Yep, it works. It might not be as short or as simple as the idiot machines, but since it's a RESTRICTED LIST meant for a private volunteering group within an organization, that makes sense, doesn't it?



That's all for this version of Hey, Does It Work?



*I never do this. Ever. I swear.



**Admittedly, if the people who can't figure out how to click three links to get this to work are reading any of this, I'd be shocked. These are the same people who stand in front of a door with a sign that clearly states the time of opening and closing and collar people, asking them what time they're open, or stand in the middle of a brewery, named "Obvious Name Brewing Company" that is dedicated to the manufacture and sale of malted fermentation, with eighteen taps running to kegs upon kegs of hoppy goodness with an entire 5,000 brewery system visible through the bar's back window whether or not they have any beer. They are not firing on all cylinders. They are not the sharpest spoons in the drawer. If they are reading this and haven't gotten completely offended because they realize I'm talking about them, they either have a marvelous sense of humor or simply don't get the joke.

***No offense to lobotomized chimpanzees, but seriously, guys. Your patience level ain't that high.